Ssshun-ssshine

As we were riding down the rode yesterday, Layton tells me to look at the beautiful "ssshun-ssshine". I commented how pretty it was. She said, "when I see that ssshun-ssshine, I see Mawmaw". :)
This little girl makes me so humble. There isn't a day that goes by that she doesn't mention her Mawmaw and her memories are always happy. She remembers when she gave her certain things and when she went to her house and ate ice cream & popsicles. She always smiles when she is talking about her and mentions that she is in heaven walking with Jesus, having fun, singing, smiling, chewing gum...

As an adult it is hard to accept the loss of a loved one. We (I)  sometimes tend to focus on the memories of the past year of when she was sick or the thought of her not being with us anymore, which are all sad. I REALLY miss her, talking to her, getting advice from her, just being with her. There are so many times I want to call and tell her something the girls have said or did, tell her about something that happened during the day. Today as Layton & I were sitting at the cemetery talking, her running around, throwing dirt, talking about Mawmaw, I wished I could be more like that of my 3 year old. I prayed that I can focus more on the positive aspects of my loss. I prayed for me to remember the happy times more than the bad. I prayed that I will have a stronger faith because of her loss. I know that in time, my faith will help me through the bad times, it's just all a little overwhelming sometimes...